Gay or straight? Maybe bi? Trans? These are all identities we keep hearing about on a daily basis. They are literally everywhere. We live in a world that seems to be obsessed with sex, gender, and gender identity, so we can't even take two steps without tripping over half a dozen references to them. Maybe we are just trying to make up for lost time, as it was only a few decades ago that these words were basically taboo, ones we barely dared whisper. My, how have things changed, and for the most part I would say it has been for the better, as we try to figure out how to build a more inclusive society; as gay rights, and trans rights at long last come to be seen as basic human rights. You know who is missing, who remains invisible and unmentioned? Those of us who describe ourselves as asexual.
We are invisible, we are unseen, we are dismissed, and, to be perfectly honest, we are still seen as weird. We get it that you don't get us (and truth be told, we too have a hard time getting you, though I guess we are better at faking it... maybe it's all that extra practice), the problem is that for better or for worse we are here, we exist, and we would like to be acknowledged, so this is my attempt to explain, to bridge the gap, and it is most definitely a gap, one that goes to the root of how we experience the world, and no, I am not exaggerating here, nowhere near it.
Few things are as fundamental to our perception of the world at large, or shape the way in which we interact with others as much as whether we identify as sexual or as asexual. That can make the finding of something remotely resembling some common ground into a bit of a challenge. The good news? That it is not an insurmountable one. The bad news? That any attempt to do so may push you way out of your comfort zone, that it may force you to see your own world from a different perspective.
Welcome to the other side of the mirror.
