My story is about my traumatic and dramatic life growing up in Newark, NJ. I lived for almost thirty years in Kretchmer Homes projects. I was born on Monmouth Street in a cold water flat with my grandfather, aunts, and uncles close to us. My father worked as a mechanic for almost twenty years at Bamberger Auto shop in Menlo Park, NJ before they had the street hustler mechanics working on cars in the streets of Newark making a living. My mother stayed at home caring for her continuing growing family that would end with thirteen children. I had some good times, hard times, and bad times while growing up, but I continue to suffer from the long-term trauma that I am trying to overcome even as an adult today. The book I hope can help someone to not give up or become a statistic.
We all have two options and one is either you beat life or life will beat you, so choose your option and let's live your life, your Me, not us, or we, YOURSELF. Do not play follow but be a leader! I had so many great people who have overcome adversities and that inspired me to always stop, but don't give up. I loved to write and I began to journal in third grade. One person that inspired me was Florence Bey and when she passed I found myself swirling again out of control. I had found that mother figure, mentor, and friend that I could confide in and then she was gone, leaving me with another void in my life. I take death and I will start a new pathway trying to forget those times with them and start life without them, but missing them like crazy. I learned to adapt to rearrange my life and focus on getting back to as normal as possible without breaking.
The first book I read was by Maya Angelou and I was in the fourth grade. It was her book I Know Why A Caged Bird Sings! I could relate to some of the things she had been through, but, I had no one to tell. I felt like it was me against the world! I was battling demons, evil, and forces beyond my control like the government analyzing and experimenting with my existence through my troubled parents. A toxic relationship is not good for a child to grow. Traits and habits are learned through this manipulative and toxic life or partnership. Before you drop your pants for any man make sure he understands our action is our plan. You take your dick out and produce a child you're a man! if that's not what you want to be use a condom to protect yourself from birth, disease, or heartache, and you'll be dismissed to leave! Never stay in a toxic relationship because the sex is sweet or you're an undercover nympho who enjoys pain, but if you have a child, just remember that child will repeat that toxicity in their life! A dysfunctional family adds to this fucked up world, so don't blame the world when you contributed an addition to this marvel mess of fuckery!