A wicked satire, featuring an aspiring romance heroine determined to nab herself a billionaire-even if it kills him.
Obsessed with romance novels, Wetta Vane is thrilled to learn her aunt is about to be evicted. Young, pretty, and more than a little touched in her upper works, to her it's simple: she'll confront the handsome billionaire behind the rent hike, and in the best romance traditional they'll fall in love and live happily ever after.
Armed with rules for the old-fashioned romance heroine-no swearing, drinking, or smoking (exception: cigars, while naked!)-Wetta hops a bus for the other side of the country, and a world of demure virgin brides and manly men plotting world domination from inside their Gulfstreams.
Before she can utter her first gasp of submission, disaster strikes. The city is assailed by an epidemic and goes into lockdown, delivering her feckless hero into the hands of his revenge-crazed assistant and a pissed-off god with an alphabet fetish.
But the greatest threat is yet to arrive-a squat stranger armed with a toilet brush, whose headspace is as grounded in reality as Wetta's is floating in the ether. With only her tattered romances to guide her, will Wetta defeat her chain-smoking nemesis and find true love, or will she fulfill her aunt's prophesy, and end up living under a bridge eating roast squirrel?
In this battle between the power of reality and delusion, only the gods, (and colonies of terrified squirrels), can tell....
